Ladies:
Are you stumped as to why you keep getting dumped or replaced by a guy that you really care for, and you know that no one else can love him like you can? I can honestly say that I can relate to where you are coming from, I myself use to feel the same way about my past relationships. I use to go through the phase of I don’t need no man I can sit here all by myself and I don’t need anyone to love me. But the truth of the matter was that I wasn’t fooling anybody not even myself. I spend countless and endless nights and days crying to myself wondering if I would find ever find true love.
I know that it hurts to find out that the person you gave all of your love to was out loving somebody else. You spend alot of time replaying the relationship out in your head over and over trying to come up with the proper solution and you spend alot of time thinking about alot of what ifs and should’ve and shouldn’t have. But the truth is, it’s not too late to get him back just better yourself for your second chance around this time. Work on bettering yourself, once you better yourself you can work as a team to strengthen your relationship together. Read on below to gain some pointers. Make sure to tell me what you think about my postings I’m always open to other’s opinions.
I was speaking to somebody who will be breaking up soon. The statement went something like this- I did everything possible to save our relationship. I gave in a lot, but I could not save. We will be breaking-up soon. That has already broken my heart. This relationship was made brick by brick over so many years. What all we did not do to make it last? But alas, we are breaking up. I asked the person- how to you propose to go on in life now? There was no answer except a blank stare. This happens to most of us.
The immediate effect of the break-up is pain. The pain goes away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact is high. It is the initial period during which one has to gather all the energy and tolerate the pain.
The second effect is bitterness and blame. There is recap of all the arguments and fights and there is a large amount of self-talk about how one were ditched. That is not pleasant. Try the following to overcome this phase.
Spend quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy.
Refocus yourself to your career. Make some very exciting plans and meet some intelligent and successful people. Begin talking to them about what you should do to enhance your potential. Find out what can be done best by you and how will you reach the top. Write down all these goals and focus on them.
The immediate effect of the break-up would be pain. Will you be able to take the pain? The pain would go away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact will be high. You will have to gather all your energy and tolerate the pain.
The second effect would be bitterness and blame. You will non stop think about the behavior of your ex partner and fix blame everywhere. You will recap all the arguments and fights and there will be a large amount of self-talk about how you were ditched. That will not be a pleasant experience. You will have to find way out of all this by spending quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy. Are you ready for that?
The major effect would be the temptation to join immediately with anew partner. This can work both the ways. Some people never wish to form a relationship again after undergoing the trauma, while some want to form a relationship as soon as possible to forget the earlier one. Both of theses choices carry danger. The best alternative is to wait for sometime and when you find your stability and self esteem back, try and form another relationship. Are you ready for this?
First you begin finding mistakes in each other. Then you blame each other for small things. You blame each other for not caring. You start doubting if he/she was the same person you loved? Slowly this takes form of hatred. You begin to hate each other. You cannot bear to live together and break up.
Now you have two memories. The first is that of love that brought you together and the second is that of the hatred that pulled you apart. What do most of you remember after the break-up? It is the hatred that is most remembered, isn’t it? This is a paradox, but it is true. Why not remember love so you suffer less after the break-up?
